by Justine Deputy, RN, MSN
Sometimes we can get caught up in the what if. Before something happens we try to play out all the potential scenarios to be as prepared as possible. Sometimes after a situation, we look back and think about what we could have done differently for an alternative outcome.
In some scenarios, this can be helpful. For example, if there was a mistake in our work, we may look back to see what we could do differently to do better next time. It can be helpful to look back at things with a clear mind to learn how we can do better next time.
When it comes to birth and motherhood, sometimes asking ourselves what could be done differently can lead us down a rabbit hole of negative thoughts. A lot of times, we can see the situation much more clearly in hindsight. Even if there was something that maybe would have helped, it is so important to remember we weren’t in the mindset or didn’t have the knowledge to make a different choice at the time. This is true in so many areas of life, especially related to pregnancy, labor, birth, and the postpartum period.
So my hope is that you remind yourself of that. Don’t be hard on yourself if there is something you think back to and run how the scenario could have gone differently. There is mourning. There is sorrow. There is pain. But, there is also joy. There is hope. And there is love.