The holidays came and went and at the end of January my husband and I took a much needed mini trip before our lives were going to further change for the third time! During the trip I started having some contractions. I felt confident that as a veteran laborer, this was the real deal, but fought the urge to sound the alarm because it was so nice to get away. We called the Birth Center and talked to Dorinda. She suggested we come home just in case. It was an usually warm day in January. I wanted to at least go to the beach and put my toes in the sand in case it was “Labor Day.” It would make for a great story! I could tell my baby that I started the day with my toes in the sand and ended it with him in my arms!

We made the two-hour trip back home. I counted the contractions home and they were consistent just not as painful as I know they can be. Did I mention that this was about three weeks before my due date? This was sitting in the back of our minds, but I just couldn’t deny the contractions. When we got back into the area, we decided not to go to the Birth Center right away, but to go home and get the house ready! My in-laws had our older children and we took advantage of an empty house to prepare. We needed to pack the bags, set up the bassinet, not to mention sterilize the whole house. I had just gotten over a 3 day stomach virus where I didn’t leave the bathroom and hadn’t eaten for nearly 2 days! We cleaned, packed and decided to take a nap. If this was it, we wanted to be well rested. An hour later we woke up and the contractions were gone. I sheepishly called the Birth Center back and told them I wasn’t coming. We chalked it up to dehydration and stress from the virus and moved on with life as usual.

The next week I was at an evening meeting for a moms support group. I could not seem to refuse the coffee and conversation heart candy. I laughed and joked with friends as I took big gulps of coffee and ate conversation hearts by the fistful, saying, “Watch me go in to labor!” Secretly though I had been feeling some contractions during the meeting that were pretty intense, but I was feeling a bit gun shy from the recent false alarm. I got home at about 10:00 p.m. and told my husband that I was having contractions and that they were about 10 minutes a part. I know he half believed me. I told him to go to bed and I would count them. I laid down and tried to sleep. They seemed to still be coming about every 10 minutes. They hurt just enough that they kept me from falling asleep. I just laid there; at least my body was resting.

At midnight I called my mom, who was to be present at birth but lives about a six-hour-drive away. I warned her that I was having labor-like contractions, but that they were 10 minutes apart for a few hours now and I was nervous to call it the real thing. We agreed that she would stay put but that I would call her again at 3 a.m. with an update. I just laid there trying to fall asleep but every 10 minutes I would get a contraction. At 3:00 a.m. I called her with no change. My contractions were intense, but still every 10 minutes. I told her that I was just going to try to make it through until my 9:30 39-week appointment at the Birth Center. She decided to wait until the sun came up to go into work and get some things, and then she would get on the road just to be sure she was there.

At 4:00 a.m, I just couldn’t deal with the contractions or the nervous energy, so I got up. We had allowed things to become “unorganized” in the week after our false alarm. I had to find the bassinet in a mountain of clothes that had collected on top of it. I repacked our “go bag” and decided to eat a bowl of cereal. I had done that with my first two children’s labors and thought it would be a cute tradition to keep going. At 5:00 a.m. I decided to lay back down. I woke up at 6:00 a.m. with a painful contraction. This was it! I awoke my husband and called the Birth Center. I couldn’t talk through the contractions at this point. It was time to go. We needed to call my in-laws who were about 45 minutes away to come and stay with our two older children. I wanted to be gone before they got up.

Well I was packed and at the door when my in-laws arrived close to 7:00. My husband on the other hand couldn’t seem to harness his nervous energy. He greeted his parents still in his pj’s holding his cup of coffee. I was trying to get him to hurry without coming undone in front of my in-laws. Now the kids were up. I was getting upset and frustrated and the contractions just kept coming. Finally at about 8:30 we were en route to the Birth Center. We arrived shortly before 9:00. I told Florence that I was in labor but that I had an appointment at 9:30 with Lindsey. Lindsey came to get me. She just immediately checked to see how much I had dilated. I was so discouraged when she said only 2 cm. With the first two, with this much labor behind me I had at least been 5-6 cm dilated! I told her that I had only slept about an hour and was exhausted. She suggested I go home with some “sleepers” and then we would talk later after I had slept to see how things were going. I agreed, but first I had to be put on the fetal monitor so we could make sure the baby was coping through the contractions.

Lindsey set up the monitor in the water birth room where I intended to deliver. After about 35 minutes on the monitor, my contractions had moved closer together, coming about every 5 minutes. The baby was doing well and I thought I was going home. Lindsey decided to check me one more time before we left. She looked at me and said “Serah, I have to admit you! You are 4 cm dilated!” It was almost 11:00 am; two cm in an hour and a half. I was shocked and a bit worried because I was so tired! I was walking around, rocking on the medicine ball and trying to maintain my humor as Lindsey and my husband joked. I hadn’t taken a single belly picture through the whole pregnancy so my husband tried to get a smile out of me while taking some pictures.

At about noon, Dorinda came in to assist with the labor. She asked to check me and I couldn’t imagine that I was any further dilated. When she checked she told me that I was 7 cm! I was again surprised and extremely tired. We decided to fill the bath tub so I could labor some in the tub. I got in and the water was no more than covering my hips when I got an urge to push. I told Dorinda and she said, “Do what your body says.” The water was still pouring in and it was so loud, I couldn’t stand it! I tried to tune it out but it was too hard to focus through my contractions. I needed it absolutely silent. Even a whisper aggravated me. I asked for them to turn off the water.

I wanted to push. Dorinda wanted to listen to the baby. I pushed her hand away because it hurt too much. She told me I had to get out of the tub because it wouldn’t fill with enough water necessary to deliver the baby there. I agreed but asked to make it quick before the next contraction. I got on the bed on all fours. Dorinda told me that the baby’s heart rate was dropping and I had to find another position. I laid on my side. The baby’s heart rate was still dropping, but I was pushing! I felt the familiar feeling of my water breaking. I felt the “ring of fire” and I wanted this baby out! Dorinda’s usual relaxed demeanor turned urgent and concerned. She called for Katie and an IV and oxygen. I didn’t understand what was happening, but I trusted Dorinda. I had the oxygen mask on but refused the IV. Dorinda insisted that I stay calm and just push. The baby was in trouble and we needed to get him out.

Finally, I felt the head then quickly the shoulders and then he was out and screaming. THE SCREAMING!!! I love hearing the screaming! It means that it is all over! At 1:22 p.m. I had delivered our third child. Thirteen hours of labor and 12 minutes of pushing. I went from two cm to pushing in under four hours! This is why I say “fast and furious!” Unfortunately, my mom was still an hour away. When she arrived, everyone was showered, the bed was changed with fresh linens, and all she had to do was sit and meet her seventh grandchild. Big Sister and Big Brother came with my in-laws soon after to meet their baby brother, and we all shared a celebratory dinner together!

Another wonderful, miraculous natural birth at the Birth Center! I can’t express enough how blessed I feel to live so close to the Birth Center and to have such wonderful caring team of women, the midwives, the nurses, and Katie Madden to support me during labor and beyond. And for my husband, who went against his nature and stayed quiet–yet supportive–through the whole labor and delivery.

Around 8pm we returned from dinner (we had very spicy Thai food) to Graham’s parents house. I didn’t have spicy food to try to speed things up; I was relatively patient and claim and didn’t feel like Lili has to meet the deadline of her due date, I knew she would come when she feels like it. We were at Graham’s parents’ house, finishing up our laundry and watching television (enjoying everything that we didn’t have at home!). I did some pelvic tilts to make sure that our little baby is in the right position (I wanted to make sure everything is fine; she surprised us and turned breech at week 37 and luckily we had a successful external version at week 38, when I felt some kind of pressure in my pelvis. I thought I pulled a muscle and didn’t mention it to anyone.

We drove home and I continued have this strange pressure from time to time. Since I didn’t think it was related to labor I kept it to myself. I was expecting contractions to be painful and was waiting for something in my belly to contract, whereas all I was experiencing was pressure on my lower abdomen. When we got home the pressure grew stronger and appeared more frequently. I noticed that I had to bend down when it appeared and that it was difficult to have anything touching my lower abdomen while it was in session. My mom went to sleep and we sat in bed with the Birth Center binder, reading again and again about the different stages of labor in an attempt to try to decide if what I was experiencing was contractions. We felt a little under prepared – which breathing techniques ought we do if this is “the real thing”? What else needs to go into the bag? – but I persuaded myself and Graham that labor hasn’t really started yet and that we have more time. My mom als o said that I was probably not in labor when I described my sensations to her. She suggested that I worked too hard on the laundry.

Graham started timing the occurrences of these pressure-waves; they appeared every five or four minutes. We understood that it must be it and called the birth center around midnight. Dorinda was on call and she asked that we wait until the contractions last a minute or a minute and a half. That never really happened. They became more frequent, every four or three minutes, but only some lasted more than a minute. Graham got a little worried – we live in Philly and had a long ride to the Birth Center – and called Dorinda again at two or three in the morning. She said that we could come to the Birth Center.

Graham, my mom and I got into the car. The pain was very bearable; in fact, I would not even describe the sensation as painful. It was more like an uncomfortable pressure. Because of this, I was sure that we are making the trip in vain and that we’ll be sent home. I was especially impatient and a little irritable with my mom (my poor mother! Will one day Lili be as impatient with me?) I sat at the back on the floor with one leg up on the seat and groaned with each pressure wave. I had both windows open and occasionally stuck my face out like a dog. I also barked like a dog at my mom, when she asked if I could close the windows (she and Graham were freezing, but I could care less). When we got to the Birth Center at 4am I was already 4 cm dilated and was happy to hear from Dorinda that I am in active labor and we can stay.

We went into the water-birth room and I changed positions and walked around as the contractions became more intense. I got into the tub when they were reaching their peek and the relief was immense. At that point I asked my mom to leave the room. Graham and I stayed there alone and I felt so much love for him and was so happy that he is with me, so gentle and loving. I immersed my belly in the water each time a contraction came and was able to relax in between contractions.

My water didn’t break yet and I was starting to feel the urge to push. Dorinda asked me not to push until I am completely dilated. It was VERY difficult to hold back, the pressure was really intense. Dorinda broke my water and that made the pressure much more bearable. I was also completely dilated by then, so I could start pushing. Things were moving quickly and I was sure that by 7am, when Dorinda’s shift is over and Lindsey arrives, I will be out with my baby. Dorinda and Peggy were with us, appearing just when they were needed, and Graham and I managed things on our own, enjoying the playlist that we’ve made and feeling very connected. I was very focused on pushing and because of that I was not very worried when Dorinda said that the baby turned posterior. I was encouraged to get out of the water and push outside.

When Lindsey arrived at 7am I was still pushing. I tried pushing in the bathroom, standing up, on a chair, lying on my side (both of them), standing on all fours. It was not painful, but it was very exhausting. At a certain point I stopped feeling the contractions and started pushing randomly, after I felt that I had sufficient time to recover from the last round of pushes.

When Lindsey said that she is considering transferring me to a hospital, I thought she was trying to motivate me to push harder. I was very determined to birth Lili naturally and a hospital birth was just out of the question for me. However, I was very tired and I didn’t know what else I could do to get the baby out. I asked Tyler to bring my mom into the room. We were quite a team there – Graham, my mom, Lindsey and Tyler (and occasionally Justine). Lindsey called Sarah in at some point for a second opinion. Although the baby’s heart rate was steady, she was worried, for it has almost been four hours since I started pushing and the baby wouldn’t come out. Everyone guided me as I pushed- Graham held my hand and my mom told me to imagine I am pushing out the biggest poop of my life. While I was pushing they all cheered me up and said how wonderful I was doing. I remember that they all got on my nerves. I thought that they were pretending, since I could not feel that I have made any progress. But quite surprisingly I didn’t tell them anything; I was just so focused on pushing. Lindsey said – “push Lior, push this baby out, she is a little peanut.” She put her fingers in my cervix and told me to push them out. I could feel her head with the tip of my fingers, but I still couldn’t get her out.

The second time Lindsey brought up the possibility of transferring me to the hospital I became more worried. I knew Lili had to come out and asked for something to eat so I can gather the energy to push her out. Sarah came in again. Lili’s heartbeat hardly dropped between contractions. Sarah and Lindsey decided that to let me go on, if I wanted. For me, there was no other option; I didn’t even want to entertain the hospital scenario. The problem, it was decided, was that I was pushing too frequently and the pushes were too shallow, so Lili’s head would just sink back in every time I was done pushing. I was encouraged to push longer and deeper. I pushed till I turned blue (quite literally, I was pushing until I was out of breath). I also had tons of mucus, a runny nose, and I ended each push with a cough (I had a nasty flu for a week). I put a wet towel on my head and pushed so hard I thought my body is going to tear open. Pain was not the problem (expect for when I need ed to change positions), but the fatigue and the cold symptoms made me kind of miserable.

I started believing that I was making progress when I saw Tyler and Lindsey reaching for the bottle of olive oil and I felt them massaging my perineum. Lili was on her way! Everyone in the room became very excited; they said the baby’s head is almost out. I pushed and felt that famous burn and then was asked to hold-off with the pushing. The next thing I remember is Lindsey telling me to open my eyes. “Your baby is here,” she said, “Lior, hold your baby, she is out.” I opened my eyes and sweet Lili was there, so small and very, very beautiful. Often when I look at her now I am reminded of her big, bright eyes staring at me at that moment. I cherish the memory of her birth as a most precious memory. I am so happy that I could welcome her into the world with so much love, excitement and happiness.

I became Lili’s mother on February 13th, 2012, at 10.27 am.

On March 22nd, I had had an appointment with the midwife Katie who measured my cervix at 1.5cm dilated and about half effaced; she warned that the gooey bits of mucous plug I’d been seeing for a couple days were likely to get bloody before I went into labor. Exciting…except that it didn’t really mean anything other than my body was preparing and it could still be a couple weeks before we had a baby on the outside. She informed me that at our next appointment, I would have to go through a Non-Stress Test, and if Baby had not arrived by the end of that week, I would have to go in for an ultrasound to measure the Amniotic Fluid Index. I was anxious and determined to avoid both of these appointments, and discouraged that I had no control over the events (again).

We tried just about everything: Aaron practiced acupressure on me, I took primrose oil tabs each night, I went out for walks and we did everything else you’re “supposed” to, but nothing was changing. On March 25th, I went for an acupuncture appointment; nothing felt different. The next day, I scheduled a second appointment. On the afternoon of March 27th, I dropped off our rent on the way to acupuncture and felt pretty much everything was wrapped up in preparation for Baby’s arrival. We enjoyed another big dinner from Mom and Dad, followed by big slices of the family-favorite chocolate cake. Feeling grumpy, I sat downstairs for some quiet alone time over the jigsaw puzzle while the rest of the family retired upstairs for some TV entertainment. When we went to bed, I felt a little dizzy and just vaguely different; I confirmed with Aaron that tomorrow’s date was March 28th with a sneaking feeling we’d have a baby with that birthday.

At 12:20, I woke up; since I’d been waking with a full bladder throughout the night for weeks, I got up to go to the bathroom, assuming on autopilot I simply needed to pee. Halfway there, I realized there was liquid running down my leg and my underwear was soaked through. Since I’d been very neglectful about the all-important Kegel exercises, I figured I’d finally just lost control of my bladder…though there was a lot of liquid and I didn’t think my bladder was big enough to hold it all! The liquid was clear; I wasn’t sure my water had broken, so I changed my underwear and pajamas and crawled back into bed. I mentioned my confusion to Aaron who was still awake, buzzing from chocolate cake. Five minutes later, I had the exact same experience and soaked through a second pair of underwear on the way to the bathroom. I figured I should no longer be confused – there was no doubt but that my water had broken. I put a pad in yet a third pair of underwear, sat on a towel in bed, and reported the news to Aaron. We consulted the books and The Birth Center’s manual, realizing one’s water breaking before active labor was one of the two reasons they want you to alert them. I wanted to wait since I was concerned about having to go in too early, and was experiencing no other signs of labor. Aaron texted our employee to ask him to cover the Wednesday morning shift, sensing that we would be a little busy the next day.

We tried unsuccessfully to go to sleep. Within the next hour or so, I started noticing minor cramps in my lower abdomen. At 1:45, Aaron called The Birth Center; we each spoke with the midwife on call, Katie, who was already attending a birth there. After confirming that my amniotic fluid had been clear and issue-free, she said to call back at 10am (if not before) to check in. If regular contractions had not established themselves by then, I would go in for my already-scheduled appointment at 1pm and we’d check on things and consider castor oil. We tried again — unsuccessfully — to go to sleep.

After several cramps passed, I started looking at my phone, curious to note the time, and realized the pains were coming every four minutes. Since the pains were not too overwhelming, and seemed like basic cramps – NOT what I expected labor contractions to feel like – I wasn’t sure this was any part of real labor; though the pains were relatively frequent, I just couldn’t believe labor would have accelerated so quickly. Then the cramps became less regular and I gave up timing them.

Within the next hour, I had to moan through each wave of cramp; by this point we were reconciled to the fact that the cramps were contractions. Now, after watching a number of labor and delivery videos and reading about it all, I must admit I was skeptical about the effectiveness and necessity of moaning and grunting etc. I was convinced this would be nothing I did while having a baby…but utterly on instinct, there I was of a sudden, moaning through each contraction. I had also wondered how I would possibly know when a contraction started and ended; it was, however, clear, and Aaron timed the contractions (using the iPhone app he’d downloaded earlier that evening) based on my cues which started out verbally and eventually deteriorated into start/stop hand gestures since I couldn’t speak. The pain was still limited to my lower abdomen, an extremely intensified version of the earlier cramps. I went to the bathroom a couple times, Aaron continued timing contractions, and eventually woke my parents around 4am to let them know labor seemed established. By this point, I would climb into whatever position was most convenient at the moment: I moved between our bedroom curled up on the bed or leaning against the bedpost, and the bathroom where I could curl up or stretch out on the floor, or sit on the toilet. I recalled vaguely the instructions from all the books and our birthing class to keep on changing positions, but since the pain wasn’t at all where I was expecting it to be, I didn’t think much about following the actual positions recommended.
I think I was nauseous at some point, but wasn’t able to throw anything up. Aaron held my hand/back/head as needed – a constant and very necessary presence. My mother brought a bowl of ice chips which were refreshing and gave me a homeopathic remedy Caulophillum which is intended to make contractions efficient (I guess it worked). I drank water in the short time between contractions. Aaron called The Birth Center at 4:30 and we spoke to Katie again; Aaron gave her a report of our situation, and she patiently listened to me moan through a contraction. She said we should remain at home until I thought I was ready to come in…and I promptly decided I was: I said to Aaron “Can we go now?” around 5:40 which motivated a very quick mobilization – gathering of bags, water, food, pillow. Aaron was impressively efficient and clear-headed and was able to get everything together, and then even remembered to look back at our home one last time before heading off to have a baby (I didn’t care too much about this, and just wanted to go).

We got in the car around 6am with me in the back seat. I felt badly to be making so much noise in the car, but couldn’t concentrate on anything else but super-pain in my belly every couple minutes. I had calculated how many contractions I’d have to get through on the trip to Wilmington if we were on a 4-1-1 pattern, but this was an entirely different pattern, involving many more contractions! About halfway to Wilmington, I started catching my breath in the middle of a contraction – I wasn’t able to smoothly moan through the entire thing; after a couple of these, I realized the reason: My body had started pushing in the middle of each contraction. I said out loud during the next one “I think I have to push” which elicited an immediate response from both my mother and Aaron who shouted “You can’t push!! Don’t push! Breathe through each one – pant if you have to!” Concentrating on my breathing helped restrain the need to push; a few minutes later, I h eard Aaron on the phone and foggily thought he might have called 911 and was arranging to meet an ambulance on the side of Interstate 95 to have my baby right then and there. Of course, it was The Birth Center he’d called; Katie told him to drive like lightening, and counseled that I should get on my hands and knees with my butt higher than my head – hard to do in the back seat of our VW Golf with one seat taken up with the baby seat (I buried my head in the baby seat and did my best to follow the directions). Aaron started giving me updates as to where we were: “It’s okay – we’re almost there” followed very shortly by “We’re getting off the highway now” followed by “I’m turning off the main road – we’re almost there” followed amazingly quickly by “We’re turning into the driveway now”. I found out later that Aaron drove 95mph down the rest of Interstate 95 (I had no idea our car would even go that fast), and then blew through every stop light and stop sign the rest of the way – I was certainly impressed and have never been so grateful for an illegal action!

Katie met us in the driveway at The Birth Center at 6:30; I suspected we’d have to go to a room upstairs which seemed such a long walk (we’d indicated that our first room choice was the Water Birthing Room, but we would not have used the tub anyway since there was no time). Somehow, we made it up the stairs; once in the Yellow Room, I headed straight for the bed, pulled off my pants, and climbed on. I asked Katie: “Can I push now?” and she gave me the go-ahead. And thus began the extended pushing phase. I made ridiculously loud noises through every contraction, bearing down to push with everything I had. I was lying down on the bed, and Peggy, one of the nurses, suggested I curl around on my side and hold a leg up. With each contraction, I managed to twist myself a little further around until eventually, I had my head near the foot of the bed.
At some point, I recall sensing concern among the nurses and midwives over the baby’s heart rate; I heard the number 100 spoken out loud and knew that was a little low (Aaron thinks the number actually being discussed was 80); they put an oxygen mask over my face and the extra oxygen immediately made my job seem easier. With veiled concern, Katie encouraged me to push and indicated we needed to have this baby out in the next couple pushes which sounded like a great idea to me, but turned out to be a false perception that I’d be done so soon. I tried to give some extra oomph to my efforts, but was discouraged that I didn’t seem to be making any progress. The oxygen must have helped, however, as Baby’s heart rate stabilized. Eventually, in my writhing, the oxygen mask was removed.

I was moaning, grunting, and screaming through every contraction, hoping the new mom downstairs could not hear me; I got better at anticipating the contractions so I could wait until the onset to put my leg up again and prepare to push. I bit my own arm, and tried to bite Aaron’s arm at some point (he saved himself). The two nurses (Peggy and Tyler) and two midwives (Katie and Lindsay) kept on encouraging me through this timeless period, telling me I was doing a great job and letting me know when they could finally see a head crowning. I didn’t really believe them since I felt we were just getting nowhere; I pushed with all my might through every contraction but was so exhausted and sweaty, I lost confidence this Baby would ever come out. It started to burn, and Aaron kept on reassuring me he could see a lot of the head…but after each contraction, it was still only partly out, and the burning just remained. I tried not to curse and was near tears, discouraged. I r ecall looking up at the wall and appreciating a lovely quilted heart on the wall – this calmed my spirit for a moment. I was also conscious that it had gotten light outside, and at a few different times, I was able to hear birds singing outside.

Finally, I determined this needed to be over; I tried to extend a couple contractions and keep on pushing beyond the end, and was encouraged to feel a baby’s head coming out. I was told I could reach down and feel it – a strange, soft, wet, matted baby head – and after the next contraction, the head was out. The midwives helped maneuver the remainder of the tiny body out, Aaron confirmed it was a girl, and she announced her presence with wailing right away; she was placed on my belly since they realized the umbilical cord was short, and she quickly pooped all over my belly which was a fantastic way to avoid jaundice later on – I was in a daze and couldn’t have cared less. Once she was out in the world, I was immediately overwhelmed with emotion and Aaron and I both wept. My body – particularly my legs — wouldn’t stop shaking for a couple hours (apparently, a normal reaction).

Our daughter was born at 7:53am; Lindsay waited patiently at the end of the bed for the cord to stop pulsing before she cut it; shortly thereafter, I got a shot of Pitocin in the thigh and then had to push again to get the placenta out; it wasn’t easy, but required no more guttural noises, so can’t have been so bad. However, then I had Lindsay massaging my belly and inside me to clamp down the uterus which was quite painful, and Katie administering Cytotec up my rear at the same time; they apologized the whole time and indeed, it was far from comfortable! I found out later I’d lost about twice the “normal” amount of blood and these measures had been necessary to stop the bleeding. Since I couldn’t see the blood pouring out of me, and was pretty distracted, I did not realize what was going on; poor Aaron had to watch an estimated 1,000 cc’s of blood pour onto the bed. The amazing midwives and nurses got everything under control quickly, and then while cleanin g up our Baby Girl, managed to turn me back around so I was leaning up against pillows. My body felt beaten, I was still shaking, and I had all but lost my voice, but I had a perfect little baby on my chest, my husband right next to me, my mother nearby with the next homeopathic remedy at the ready, and my father on the way with oatmeal for breakfast.

All that pushing (a long 1 ½ hours), and the attention of the midwives who applied warm compresses and oil during the labor effectively stretched out my perineum so I was fortunate to have it completely intact; I did need a few stitches for torn internal tissue, and I opted to forgo stitches to repair a labia tear (Aaron said later he had seen the tear happen: eek).

We ate a bit, drank fluids, and contacted friends and relatives in a haze of joy and amazement. A few hours after being born, the nurses examined, weighed, and measured her. By then, I had become more sleepy than I’ve ever been; I wanted to pay attention to the nurses and our baby, but I could not keep my eyes open. When I finally had to go to the bathroom, Tyler helped me take a shower which felt better than I could have imagined, and we packed up to go home, leaving The Birth Center around 2pm. It was drizzling when we left, and I was grateful that our little Elena Rose had been born in a room with sun shining through the curtains, and birds calling outside.

Needless to say, this labor and delivery defied all our expectations — from the cramp-like pains to the extreme acceleration of the stages of labor; we blew through the experience without looking back. I didn’t have the chance to consider pain medication, and did not experience many of the phases of labor (such as “Transition”) which we’d talked about in our birth preparation class and about which we’d read ad nauseam. The passing of time in the manner to which I am accustomed completely vanished – hours passed before I knew it and with no comprehension of where they had gone. I don’t even remember what I was wearing except that I gave birth to little Elena with a string of pearls around my neck. Though I was scared to be pushing so quickly, and to have been washed over so soon with the pains of childbirth, I am enormously grateful and amazed that it was over so quickly. I will always carry an extremely warm and grateful spot in my heart for the nurses Peggy and Tyler and the midwives Katie and Lindsay who attended Elena’s birth and provided the hands into which she could be born surrounded with warmth, care and love. We could not have made a better decision than to choose The Birth Center as our care provider and our daughter’s birthplace; when we return there now, it feels like we’re coming home.

Within a few weeks our excitement about the pregnancy turned to fear and sadness when I started to bleed heavily and pass clots. Certain I was having a miscarriage, I went to triage at Christiana only to find out that there was a healthy baby inside me and no explanation for the bleeding. The bleeding resolved itself and everything seemed fine until the second trimester when I had another episode of heavy bleeding. After another visit to triage, we found out I had a sub chorionic hemorrhage which was a potential complication, but most likely would resolve itself and not be an issue. I was very cautious until my 20 week ultrasound determined that all was well and we had a healthy baby boy. It was the first time we ever found out the gender of our baby before the birth. I think I prefer to be surprised, but it was also fun to know ahead of time.

The rest of the pregnancy went smoothly with no complications. March was rapidly approaching and I had a list of things that I wanted to do before the baby came. One item on the list was to attend a wedding in Ohio which involved a 9 hour drive relatively close to my due date. The weekend of the wedding my husband got sick so we couldn’t go, but decided to try to go the following weekend just for a visit since it would be our last chance to travel for a while. We loaded up the 3 kids and made the long drive while I was nearly 38 weeks pregnant. I didn’t have any fears about going into labor on the trip as I had never gone into labor a moment before 40 weeks. The trip was uneventful. I had my 38 week prenatal visit the day after we came back. It was one of those unseasonably hot days and I had a mini-panic attack because I didn’t have spring/summer clothes ready for the big kids. On the way back from my TBC appointment I went shopping and stocked up on summer clothes for my big kids and then came home and pulled out and organized the summer clothes we had stored for the winter. I went to work the next day, a Friday. Saturday I emptied out a pile of old clothes and toys to donate spent the day cleaning and organizing the house. Sunday I installed the new baby’s car seat and vacuumed out the minivan. Monday was my last day of work and I planned to spend the rest of the week relaxing, taking walks, and spending quality time with the big kids before the baby came. When I was done with work on Monday I decided since I was out by myself, I would stop by the grocery store to pick up the food I wanted to take to TBC for the birth. Even though I thought it was premature, I figured I’d get that chore out of the way and have that bag ready to go well in advance so I wouldn’t have to worry about it later. I was exhausted when I got home but I had a strong compulsion to shampoo the carpets and re-clean the already clean house that evening. After my cleaning frenzy, I got the kids to bed and watched some TV. I thought maybe I felt a contraction or two but didn’t think much of it because I still had almost 2 weeks until my due date. I went to bed and slept well that night except for a couple of trips to the bathroom which was normal at that point. I thought I was having a contraction at one point during the night, but it was hard to distinguish it between the usual aches and pains I was used to having.

Soon enough it was early morning and I heard Jeremy’s alarm clock go off for him to go to the gym and work. As I lay in bed trying to fall back to sleep I felt what I was fairly certain to be a real contraction. I laid there waiting for more and after about 15 minutes felt another one. I reluctantly got out of bed because I thought I’d better warn Jeremy to stay home for the time being until I could figure out if I was in labor or not. It was about 5:30 a.m. By 6 I was having more pain so I knew I was having contractions but I wasn’t sure I was in real labor. In fact I convinced myself it couldn’t be real labor because it was way too soon. I tossed the last few items I wanted to take along to TBC into my bag, just in case, and I told Jeremy to shower. The kids started waking up and I was glad to have Jeremy there to get them dressed and give them breakfast because the contractions were getting more painful and closer together. Jeremy wanted to call someone to come watch the kids and call TBC but it wasn’t quite 7 and I thought it was too early in the morning to bother people. I got in the shower and Jeremy did end up calling our friends to come over to stay with the kids. I still hadn’t called TBC because I think I was still in denial! While I was getting dressed I had a couple of contractions right in a row and the pain was getting more intense. I finally decided to call TBC. Sarah was on call and when she called me back I told her I was having painful irregular contractions but they seemed to be getting close together. I had no other labor symptoms, but have a history of fast deliveries so I thought I should come in to be checked out. Sarah was already there so she told me to come on in. I dawdled around a bit before we left because I was still skeptical about actually being in labor. I was afraid I’d get over to TBC and either find out it was false labor (painful false labor!) or find out that I was in labor but only 1-2 centimeters dilated. At about 8:30 Jeremy and I headed out and were lucky to breeze up 95 without running into traffic. I had about 3 manageable contractions during the half hour drive and I totally convinced myself that we were going to be sent home when I got there.

Once at TBC, we headed up to the blue room, which I had chosen for this and my previous 2 births and it was all set up for birthing. It was about 9 a.m. I had a painful contraction and then let Sarah check me. I was shocked and relieved to find out I was 8 centimeters dilated and the baby was low. It was for real! I was going to have a baby! For the next hour, I continued to have painful contractions. I like to labor on my own so Jeremy took his spot in the rocking chair and Sarah sat in the other corner and they did their own things while I leaned on the side of the bed and swayed my hips through the contractions. I was just waiting for either my water to break or to feel the pressure to push. Nothing was happening so I opted to try squatting low on a small birthing ball. Sarah asked if I’d like the bigger ball, but the smaller one was working better for me. I thought the squatting position would get the baby down better and I was at a good level to lean on the side of the bed. After being on the ball for about 20 minutes and not feeling like I was making any progress, I got up on the bed. The contractions weren’t particularly long, but they were intense when they came. I was having a hard time relaxing and I was getting frustrated that I still wasn’t feeling any pressure, just painful contractions. I tried to get comfortable on the bed on my hands and knees and leaning over a pile of pillows. I was pretty sure I would birth on my hands and knees as I had in my last two births so I thought maybe getting into position might help move things along.

It had been an hour since I was 8 cm and I thought surely by then something had to happen. After a particularly painful contraction I asked Sarah if she thought it would be okay to break my water. She agreed and she checked me and found that I was fully dilated and told me to try pushing. I still felt no urge to push though. She broke my water and I had immediate relief from the pain of the contractions and I waited a moment for the familiar feeling of the natural urge to push to come. Still nothing. Sarah kept saying to listen to my body and to go ahead and push. Peggy was there too and both of them were encouraging me but without that feeling I thought I might never birth my baby. I knew I had to get him out so I took a deep breath and summoned up all my strength, grabbed underneath the mattress and pushed with all my might. In a few pushes my baby boy was out and I think he was crying before he was even all the way out. It was 10:06 a.m. It had only been 6 minutes since my water was broken, but those few minutes felt like forever. Sarah and Peggy tried to hand me the baby but my muscles were quivering and his cord was short so it was kind of an awkward hand off. Somehow Peggy got me situated n my back and I quickly had my little Caleb on my belly and in another moment he was latched on with the most perfect latch and happily nursing. Even though he came out fast and furious, I made it through unscathed without tearing. Little had I known in the previous few days of my frantic nesting that Caleb would make a perfect entrance into our lives on a Tuesday, the first day of spring. All three of my boys were born on a Tuesday so maybe I should have known he was coming when he did. Caleb was welcomed at home at afternoon by his brothers Jacob and Matthew and sister Corinna.

The week between Christmas and New Year’s was still emotional and hard for me. I wasn’t *done* with being pregnant, but I just wanted to meet our little guy! It was only a four day work week, and I ended up only going in to work one day due to pregnancy psychosis (haha! not really). The shame! On December 31st, I used a gift certificate I had and went to a spa for a Maternity Massage and a Reflexology Pedicure. It was heaven and I felt so relaxed and pampered. It’s a long story, but Gary and I ended not going out New Year’s Eve. We planned to, but let’s just say that we had some bathroom issues and a toilet that needed attending to. I ended up with a burst of energy and completely cleaned the whole bathroom. Did my massages and the cleaning bring on labor? Only God knows, but I was of the philosophy that I would wait for labor to start naturally and patiently – I wasn’t eating pineapple or spicy foods. I wasn’t doing lots of squats or going for excessively long walks. I was just living my life and doing what I normally did, trying to wait patiently.

Well, on January 1st, I woke up at about 7:30 am to go to the bathroom, and felt a small gush – my bag of waters was slowly leaking! I also felt some light *surges* (the word I preferred using over contractions). We had been up late the night before, and I knew I would need to be well-rested. I managed to go back to sleep for another two hours. At 9:30, I got up and called the on-call midwife (Sarah) at the Birth Center. We planned to keep in touch and she advised I get some more rest and take a walk to see if that would bring on active labor. I showered and ate breakfast. I let Gary sleep in and didn’t even tell him what was going on until he woke up at about 10:30am.
The surges continued but as I was in early labor, they felt like period cramps and were quite manageable. I lost my mucus plug during this early labor time. I took another nap and at about 2pm, Gary and I went for a walk. When we got home at 2:30, the surges were coming about every 5 minutes and lasting for a minute. Throughout the early labor and now that I was beginning active labor, I bounced a lot on the exercise ball, I read parts of the most helpful book I had read “Christ-Centered Childbirth”, and I practiced my breathing and prayed. At about 3:15, I spoke to Sarah again – my surges were now where she hoped they would be, every 4 minutes, lasting more than a minute. She said she’d meet us at the Birth Center at 4:30pm.

It was mostly an uneventful hour long drive from NJ to Wilmington- save a 5 minute holiday traffic crawl approaching the toll booth on the NJ Turnpike by the Delaware Memorial Bridge. Thank God we have EZ Pass and could blow by the traffic once we got to the express lanes.

When we arrived at the Birth Center, Sarah checked me and I was 5cm dilated. I was really pleased with that! Gary and I continued to labor – I found I most enjoyed sitting on the birth ball, and leaning over the arm of the couch or the bed. By about 6pm, when the surges were getting more intense, I liked to stand up from the ball during the surges and sway and do figure 8′s with my hips. The further along I was, the more inward I went. I loved having the lights dimmed, and I was in a very quiet place in my mind, praying and focusing. I didn’t like anyone talking while the surges were coming on.

We had planned for a water birth and at about 8pm, I got into the tub. That felt amazing and it was nice to move in the water. It didn’t feel this long, but I stayed in the tub until about 11:30, perhaps almost midnight. During that time, I started feeling pushy and was fully dilated when Sarah checked me. I began what I thought was pushing, but we weren’t really making much progress. This is the point that I thank God for midwives and what they do. Sarah checked me and suggested I get out of the tub for a while. We decided on the birthing stool and I moved onto that. She began to guide me and described to me what the pushing should feel like. WHOA!!! It was a whole new ballgame, folks! I labored on the birthing stool for about a half hour.

At about 12:30am, I moved onto the bed and labored on my side for a time, and then on my back, curling up to sitting to push during each surge. The whole time, the baby’s heartbeat was great. Thank God for that, if it had dipped, or had I sensed concern at all in Sarah’s face, I would have maybe caved and said ‘I don’t know if I can do this!’ The pushing seemed to go on forever, in reality from the time I got on the birthing stool, it was about three hours of pushing. I really went inward during this time. It was hard, but looking back I don’t know that I would call it painful. My body kicked in and I KNOW I experienced the pain-blocking endorphins that our body naturally produces. I felt even somewhat disconnected and it took about a half hour after the birth for me to reconnect with my body emotionally, if that makes any sense.
I felt so blessed with the team I had. Usually at the birth center, you have the midwife on call and a nurse to help you in labor. Sarah and Katie Madden were awesome and I was so glad they were going to be there for me. There was also a new nurse, Tyler, starting at the birth center, and she observed and helped when they needed her. And lucky for me, a third mom came in that night in labor, so Sarah called the backup midwife (Katie) to come in. (Sarah was with the first mom and she had her baby at 7pm, and I was the second mom in). That third mom was not in active labor and was sent home. When the pushing became pretty intense for me, Sarah asked Katie to come and help as well. I ended up with the powerhouse team of four. I found out after the fact that Sarah asked Katie to come in because they had a few moments of concern if I would be able to power through. They knew the baby was okay, but if I didn’t get the hang of pushing and start getting him down the birth canal, they thought they’d be looking at a hospital transfer that would most likely end in a c-section. Thank God they never voiced this possibility to me. I needed them to believe in me and tell me I could do this. Once this team was around me on the bed coaching me through each surge, it was slow but sure, but we started getting somewhere! The other amazing thing is that I never once voiced doubt. There may have been one moment when I thought it, but with these ladies and my husband around me cheering me on, I pushed those negative thoughts aside and kept going for it. That is key I think to having the natural birth that you want.

At 2:46 am, our precious son, Maxwell Ray Tilory, was born. He was 9lbs 1 oz, 21 & 1/2 inches long, with a head circumference of 37 & 1/2cm. Katie M said he may be in the running for the biggest head they’ve ever delivered! No wonder it took so long to push him out (but she may have said that just to make me feel better about how long it took to push him out)! He had a wonderful looking conehead and it was slightly to the right, which may have also added to the difficulty because he wasn’t quite coming down the birth canal straight. He also had one of his arms bent up towards his face. Once his head was out, they thought perhaps they were looking at shoulder distocia, and Katie had to push on my belly with the next surge, but as it turned out, his elbow was slowing him down. The moment he came out, he was placed right on me and he was amazing! I was just amazed that we were done, that he was here and that he was so beautiful. Everyone thought I would cry the moment he came out, because I’m a huge cryer… I didn’t. I was just so in awe! He didn’t cry at first either, but he was healthy and breathing. They perked him up with some oxygen and bam! There was his strong and fierce cry! He stayed on me for skin to skin bonding for almost an hour and a half.
He had a little trouble latching on but we eventually got the hang of it and breast feeding continues to go well, with the normal adjustment and occasional pain, to this day. I had 2 small tears – one internal and one external. But other than that, both Max and I were fine!
We rested at the birth center until about 11:30 am that morning and then left for home! I am so thankful for my first birthing experience. The midwives and nurses took excellent care of me the whole pregnancy and most importantly, the labor and delivery. It was an amazing experience, so peaceful, so joyful and a life changing experience. I am so thankful! I would *highly* recommend a birth center birth for any healthy mom with a low-risk, no complications pregnancy.